My worst fear has arrived, and to think what sent it spiraling out of control was me leaving for 9 days.
It's not a surprise that we have come to this point but no one ever expected it to happen so suddenly. We have been watching her memory decline for about a year now, what was once just "forgetfulness due to aging" is now something so much worse and I find myself just as confused and worried as she is.
It was pretty clear to me over the summer that things with her memory were on a serious decline. I found myself repeating our plans more often, she would forget when we were coming over, she was more tired, she seemed to have more and more trouble concentrating during a conversation in person or over the phone. I kept bringing it up with the Doctors but seemed to be getting nowhere. Although we did make progress when the doctor seriously recommended she stop driving. I believe that sudden loss may have set this boulder into motion.
Fast Forward to October: The 5th she cancelled a Doctor appointment due to heavy rain. Not a huge deal except that it would have been my only chance to visit with her before my vacation. Even though I was talking to her on the phone every other day the idea of me leaving just wasn't sticking. Finally October 14th arrived and I called her as I was on my way to the airport, reminded her where I was going (Florida) and when I would be returning (Oct. 24), I reminded her I wrote it all down for her on her calendar and that I would be accessible via cell phone if she needed me and I would be sure to check in with her when I was all settled. I also let her know that I had scheduled an MRI appointment for her while I was gone and Everlyn would be taking her in my absence so we could make sure to have it done in time for our next visit with Dr. Davis. Everything seemed under control...
Saturday Morning my mom gets 2 frantic voice mails from her expressing great concern that I was flying to Italy all alone over the ocean. She wanted my mom to tell me to be extra careful and to only go to museums and universities to find groups to sight see with. My mom calmly informed her I was not in Italy but I was in Florida with my cousin and I was safe. I called her that night and tried to let her know I was fine and still in the U.S. She seemed very confused about the whole situation. I called her again the following day and only encountered more of the same. Constant reminders of the fact that I was in Florida not Italy, She had an MRI appointment coming up. Then came Tuesday, I opened my email only to find that she had cancelled it and that the day before she had gone to CVS and spent almost $400. I still see no evidence of what she purchased on that trip. I immediately called her to find out why she had cancelled the appointment. It was not raining, it wasn't too cold, and she had a ride. What was going on? She told me just had no way of getting there and that she just didn't feel like going. I could hear a different tone in her voice and I knew she wasn't connecting with the situation and was dead set that she would not be going to that MRI appointment. She was talking in circles and I couldn't keep it together. I had to accept what was happening and ask my mom to take over while I was gone because there was nothing I could do from 2000 miles away. I managed to get through the rest of my trip without much disturbance and my mom began to carry the load for the week. I was extremely grateful.
Oct. 24th not a moment too soon, it seemed as though she was counting the days until I would be coming home because she called me as I was boarding the airplane. I didn't take the call because we were about to take off but sent a quick email to my mom asking her to call her and let her know I would call her from Texas. She sounded confused, and disoriented and wasn't clear as to what she needed but just needed to hear my voice. By the time I got off the plane in Texas and finally back in California I had 5 messages from her. All the same just as lost, confused and disoriented.
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