After waiting for more than 2 months we finally had a follow up Dr. visit to review the Neuro-Psych results... Forgetfulness do to age progression... basically your getting old and forgetting things. Well that was helpful. Their recommendation, maintain socially and cognitively active. How enlightening!
I can't help but feel frustrated that there is nothing else wrong with her when I've noticed such a huge change in her behavior and memory patterns. Thursday night I made sure to call grandma to let her know what time I would be picking her up friday morning. She remembered the appointment we agreed on a time and because she can never hear me correctly while I'm in my car we hung up. She was a little under the weather, fighting a cold or sorts. Without a second thought I made my call set a time and went to bed. Friday morning I set out on my way to pick her up only to arrive and not be able to get in the house. A key had broken off in the front door and I couldn't get my key in, I went around to the back to see if she was in the kitchen before I called but she wasn't there. I called the house phone only to find her in the bathroom, and suddenly she Remembered, She was supposed to go to the Dr. today. With the combination of rain and cold she was moving pretty slow and managed to put the Dr. appointment out of her mind. I laughed it off for the moment but was still mildly concerned considering we spoke pretty late the night before.
We finally arrived at the Dr.'s office only about 15 minutes late and got called back pretty quickly. Sometimes I wonder how Dr.'s managed to keep all the patients in order and the reasons for certain visits but after other general questions we finally got around her her memory or lack there of. Neuro is basically using this first test as a base line and we should do another one 1 year from now. We spoke a little bit more on this but really got no where so we left, waited another 45 minutes or so for her prescriptions before we made our way home. While we were waiting her sat trying to decide what we would have for lunch, and she also needed to stop for gas. In the time we made that plan and got the meds, got to the car she asked again... "What are we doing?" I reminded her that we would get gas first then find a place to have some soup. We got on the freeway, she asked again, "where are we going?" The intersection going East on the 10 was pretty backed up and as I sat there waiting to make the curve she insisted I was going the wrong way... 10 West is where she thought we were going, but I had to remind her what direction we were coming from and we were going Back in the East direction. I didn't think much of it because she's never really had a great sense of direction but there was a concern should she be in the car alone and loose her way.
As we continued to sit in traffic we made small talk, How's your mom, how's your brother? How's your Mama Chusie? WHAT??!! My heart sank the moment those words left her mouth... Mama Chusie is my mom's grandmother and has not been alive for about 19 years! I think the look of shock on my face said it all because she suddenly remembered that she was gone. I asked her if maybe she was thinking of my Tia Cuca, whom I go to visit in Mexico every couple of years and who was been like a grandmother to me, or maybe Chata, or Chayo, or Kika my Mama Chusie's sisters, she has asked about them before so that would make sense. But she shook her head no, and said she meant her and that she had been on her mind ALOT in the last few days... That was very very weird to me, very scary almost. I've heard that as you are getting closer to your final days you sometimes see people who have past almost in a welcoming manner... I am NOT ok with this. I didn't press any further because I was scared and I probably would not be able to hold back my tears. From there it seemed like it only got worse.
We finally got to the gas station only to discover she didn't have cash because she needed to deposit a check. FYI she deals in cash for everything. So I told her I would take her to the bank, but where would I go? I let her guide me only to discover that the bank wasn't there... It was on the other side of where we already were. To this she says "it feels like we are going in circles" that's because we were! I had to look it up on my phone, which is what I should have done from the beginning but I guess I wanted to see if she could remember... Once we got to the bank and I parked she got out of the car in the blistering cold and asked me "Where are we going now?" and "why do I have to get out of the car?" I looked at her and laughed and reminder her that SHE needed to make a deposit. But she didn't have the account number or her pin number. She then told me "I have everything written done and I bring that paper with me when I'm prepared to go to the bank, I don't even know why I'm here!" Frustration can not even begin to explain what I was feeling at that moment but luckily she had her ATM card and the banker that helped us was very kind and very patient. We made her deposit made some changes to the account and added my name to the account just for good measure. So at least I can feel good about that now and see what she is spending her money on.
We left the bank, went to eat and went home. I was exhausted! and so was she.
I am at a loss for words to explain how this makes me feel, but I know I need to keep a closer eye on her and her day to day functions and keep a positive outlook that this too shall pass. As frustrating as this all is when I retell the stories I can't help but laugh and think this is stuff that would only happen in movies.
I can't help but feel frustrated that there is nothing else wrong with her when I've noticed such a huge change in her behavior and memory patterns. Thursday night I made sure to call grandma to let her know what time I would be picking her up friday morning. She remembered the appointment we agreed on a time and because she can never hear me correctly while I'm in my car we hung up. She was a little under the weather, fighting a cold or sorts. Without a second thought I made my call set a time and went to bed. Friday morning I set out on my way to pick her up only to arrive and not be able to get in the house. A key had broken off in the front door and I couldn't get my key in, I went around to the back to see if she was in the kitchen before I called but she wasn't there. I called the house phone only to find her in the bathroom, and suddenly she Remembered, She was supposed to go to the Dr. today. With the combination of rain and cold she was moving pretty slow and managed to put the Dr. appointment out of her mind. I laughed it off for the moment but was still mildly concerned considering we spoke pretty late the night before.
We finally arrived at the Dr.'s office only about 15 minutes late and got called back pretty quickly. Sometimes I wonder how Dr.'s managed to keep all the patients in order and the reasons for certain visits but after other general questions we finally got around her her memory or lack there of. Neuro is basically using this first test as a base line and we should do another one 1 year from now. We spoke a little bit more on this but really got no where so we left, waited another 45 minutes or so for her prescriptions before we made our way home. While we were waiting her sat trying to decide what we would have for lunch, and she also needed to stop for gas. In the time we made that plan and got the meds, got to the car she asked again... "What are we doing?" I reminded her that we would get gas first then find a place to have some soup. We got on the freeway, she asked again, "where are we going?" The intersection going East on the 10 was pretty backed up and as I sat there waiting to make the curve she insisted I was going the wrong way... 10 West is where she thought we were going, but I had to remind her what direction we were coming from and we were going Back in the East direction. I didn't think much of it because she's never really had a great sense of direction but there was a concern should she be in the car alone and loose her way.
As we continued to sit in traffic we made small talk, How's your mom, how's your brother? How's your Mama Chusie? WHAT??!! My heart sank the moment those words left her mouth... Mama Chusie is my mom's grandmother and has not been alive for about 19 years! I think the look of shock on my face said it all because she suddenly remembered that she was gone. I asked her if maybe she was thinking of my Tia Cuca, whom I go to visit in Mexico every couple of years and who was been like a grandmother to me, or maybe Chata, or Chayo, or Kika my Mama Chusie's sisters, she has asked about them before so that would make sense. But she shook her head no, and said she meant her and that she had been on her mind ALOT in the last few days... That was very very weird to me, very scary almost. I've heard that as you are getting closer to your final days you sometimes see people who have past almost in a welcoming manner... I am NOT ok with this. I didn't press any further because I was scared and I probably would not be able to hold back my tears. From there it seemed like it only got worse.
We finally got to the gas station only to discover she didn't have cash because she needed to deposit a check. FYI she deals in cash for everything. So I told her I would take her to the bank, but where would I go? I let her guide me only to discover that the bank wasn't there... It was on the other side of where we already were. To this she says "it feels like we are going in circles" that's because we were! I had to look it up on my phone, which is what I should have done from the beginning but I guess I wanted to see if she could remember... Once we got to the bank and I parked she got out of the car in the blistering cold and asked me "Where are we going now?" and "why do I have to get out of the car?" I looked at her and laughed and reminder her that SHE needed to make a deposit. But she didn't have the account number or her pin number. She then told me "I have everything written done and I bring that paper with me when I'm prepared to go to the bank, I don't even know why I'm here!" Frustration can not even begin to explain what I was feeling at that moment but luckily she had her ATM card and the banker that helped us was very kind and very patient. We made her deposit made some changes to the account and added my name to the account just for good measure. So at least I can feel good about that now and see what she is spending her money on.
We left the bank, went to eat and went home. I was exhausted! and so was she.
I am at a loss for words to explain how this makes me feel, but I know I need to keep a closer eye on her and her day to day functions and keep a positive outlook that this too shall pass. As frustrating as this all is when I retell the stories I can't help but laugh and think this is stuff that would only happen in movies.
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